Thread:187.252.113.122/@comment-187.252.113.122-20140705211859/@comment-1809047-20140705212547

Not bad, but your formatting is off, plus you're not being specific about some things. For one thing that part about Shiro wasn't very clear and it sounded like he was trying to hit Barubari. You're also not very specific about what Great did to Barubari either.